Today is my 25th birthday. Quarter of a century. Seriously....i feel kind of old. Today in class we were doing surveys- and when i got to the age catagory- i saw "18-25" and i realized that before i was in the middle and now i'm at the end of the age gap. It's slightly scary and frightening....but i guess the older you are the wise you get?! hahha.
Since the beginning people have been giving me so many great presents, whether its a card that was so loving or TONS of sweets (i can tell how much ppl love- the sweets that they have been buying me...hahhaa). Chocolate cheese cake, soft bake dark chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes, white choclate cookies......mmmmmmm. i had 3-4 sugar rushes today....enough of that- but the best gift was what God gave me- last night, 3 of the other IV staff people got together and our get together turned into an intense healing prayer session for me.
in the words of my fair lady "by george- i think she's got it"
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Praise God
Dearest friends,
today is a day to rejoice because my mom was baptized in Grace Baptist Church in Taiwan with 19 other men and women. seriously i have been crying the whole day. Its joyful tears and i definitely use tears as a way of expressing deep emotions :) Growing up, me and my mom fought a lot. My mom had a really tough emotional roller coaster life. She had violent mood swings and often time would get extremely angry with either me or my dad. She also hurt me many times in making me feel she didn't trust me and that i intentionally wanted to make her angry. I was so afraid to make her angry and i feared her so much. Then when i became a teenager- it became even worse because my mood swings became violent and the combo between me and my mom was pretty bad. I would cry often when talking to her because i felt accused, misunderstood and when we have arguments and i cry- she will leave me there without resolving our conflict. rejection abandonment over and over.
but praise God. I became a true believer of Jesus Christ in my sophomore year in college and God had big intentions for my family. during the last few years- there would be arguments and i would be so frustrated by my mom and myself. but overall- i will end up trusting and praying for my mom.
a few months ago- my mom called me to tell me that she is a believer who is seeking Jesus. It shocked me because while i was at home after college at Vanderbilt- i was waiting for God to show me the miracle. But it happened when i wasn't there, dad wasn't there, lulu wasn't there- while she was sleeping and she woke up feeling this emptiness and hurt- she took my sister to sunday school that day and immediately told my sister's sunday school teacher about it- she lived the past 50 years not knowing Christ, but she didn't want that to happen to the rest of her 50 years.
spending this past summer with my mom and sister was absolutely amazing. God redeemed so much so much. When we parted over the summer- I was not worried because I knew my mother was in good hands. My mom kept on pursuing God and she went to all the foundation classes in my church before baptism.
Today my mom is a Christian who is walking strong with the Lord. God is beyond amazing. And today onthe phone- my mom blessed me further with a confirmation from God of my calling for the Muslims.
She wrote me an e-mail to tell me the joyful news and to write her appreciation for me in her life. She wrote about how the pastor today prayed over the new Christians Psalm 51 and I use this psalm to remind you, my dear friends about how great God is and the newness of life He continuously brings. I pray that your family members who are not walking with the Lord yet will one day truly know the meaning of this Psalm and accept in joy of the new life that Jesus brings for He is the only one who does and will.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguilt, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is [b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
today is a day to rejoice because my mom was baptized in Grace Baptist Church in Taiwan with 19 other men and women. seriously i have been crying the whole day. Its joyful tears and i definitely use tears as a way of expressing deep emotions :) Growing up, me and my mom fought a lot. My mom had a really tough emotional roller coaster life. She had violent mood swings and often time would get extremely angry with either me or my dad. She also hurt me many times in making me feel she didn't trust me and that i intentionally wanted to make her angry. I was so afraid to make her angry and i feared her so much. Then when i became a teenager- it became even worse because my mood swings became violent and the combo between me and my mom was pretty bad. I would cry often when talking to her because i felt accused, misunderstood and when we have arguments and i cry- she will leave me there without resolving our conflict. rejection abandonment over and over.
but praise God. I became a true believer of Jesus Christ in my sophomore year in college and God had big intentions for my family. during the last few years- there would be arguments and i would be so frustrated by my mom and myself. but overall- i will end up trusting and praying for my mom.
a few months ago- my mom called me to tell me that she is a believer who is seeking Jesus. It shocked me because while i was at home after college at Vanderbilt- i was waiting for God to show me the miracle. But it happened when i wasn't there, dad wasn't there, lulu wasn't there- while she was sleeping and she woke up feeling this emptiness and hurt- she took my sister to sunday school that day and immediately told my sister's sunday school teacher about it- she lived the past 50 years not knowing Christ, but she didn't want that to happen to the rest of her 50 years.
spending this past summer with my mom and sister was absolutely amazing. God redeemed so much so much. When we parted over the summer- I was not worried because I knew my mother was in good hands. My mom kept on pursuing God and she went to all the foundation classes in my church before baptism.
Today my mom is a Christian who is walking strong with the Lord. God is beyond amazing. And today onthe phone- my mom blessed me further with a confirmation from God of my calling for the Muslims.
She wrote me an e-mail to tell me the joyful news and to write her appreciation for me in her life. She wrote about how the pastor today prayed over the new Christians Psalm 51 and I use this psalm to remind you, my dear friends about how great God is and the newness of life He continuously brings. I pray that your family members who are not walking with the Lord yet will one day truly know the meaning of this Psalm and accept in joy of the new life that Jesus brings for He is the only one who does and will.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguilt, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is [b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
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