The life of a volunteer staff- Chapter one...genesis.

Wonderful. Gosh. Now I know how awesome it is to be a staff worker or just a elder woman who can love on and encourage women who are younger. Yesterday I was hesitating if I should go to the IV ice cream social for the new freshmen- but was uber surprised of how fun it went. I was out from 9 pm till 2 am....it was crazy. Probably need to watch my sleep time boundaries but how fun and every conversation made me even more hyper! I got to have some real good conversations and even put in some prayer time with the women i met. Each one of them are so special and so opened and so excited about God's work in their lives and in their fellowship. Wonderful. I'm so blessed to be amongst them.

There is this other guy who is starting also and he is the guy volunteer staff and it was so fun- we pretended that we were freshman, then he pretended that he was an exchange student from Korea and then he just said he was a high school student. I totally will not be fooled because he looks older! :P but then we started to tell people we were brothers and sisters....all the undergrads were so fooled that they smiled and nodded but deep down wondered.."Seriously?" but me and Steve both had a good time.

AH! i so look forward in getting to grow with these young ones here in Columbia University. This is the moment I have been waiting for and God is so great. Praise you Lord!

New Semester coming up...SOON!

Rwar. here are my classes

Second year fieldwork- World Vision New York
International Social Welfare Services
Seminar on Social Policy Practice
Economics for International Affairs (with lab)

and one more class....either or
1) Program Evaluation
2) Economics and Education Development in the International arena

sounds intense....doesn't it :P

Singlehood

Friends, it is so awesome to be single. I never thought about how great it is. I always wanted to be the one who had someone madly in love with me while I was madly in love with the person too....i think my singlehood has been greatly challenged due to a lot of my friends have started to date or gotten serious or even married. First thing that comes to my mind is- heck, why her? why not me? I have everything in me that is so great too! But God has been teaching me and giving me a lot of peace about being single for this season. I have been growing more and more intimate in knowing about God. That is what I've always wanted.

I'm not ready to settle. The uncomforting and lonely feeling has been surpassed by God's warmth and comfort. He daily reminds me of His promises and His passion for what I can do as a single woman in New York at this time. I will never want to settle because of a guy, money or power. Good house, good stable job, stable income, nice family life- sounds all so appealing and great. People all want that and they've been driven by their parents, society to do so. Somehow that stability disturbs me. I don't want to be one of those people who settles and gets married and stays somewhere forever till her children are grown and then start her life. Nothing wrong with that- but i don't know....maybe i'm thinking too ahead of myself. I want my kids to grow up as missionaries or have mission mindsets. I want them to be culturally compotent. I want them to LIVE life through stories and stories and stories of their interactions with people all over. Heavenly father has blessed me with that opportunity.

No wonder I haven't really found anyone great in New York- many people here and Christians are just looking for the whole "settling" mindset. I am not. I am radical. yes indeed. I am running towards God's calling and the man of God either run with me or be opened in running....hahaha. so much for metaphors.

i'm not ready to settle yet.

Indescrible. God's creation!

Cho, Teresa and me went on a 2 day 1 night trip to Niagara Falls. We went through a Chinatown tour company. We woke up at 6:00 something am and packed/washed up and headed to Chinatown in the gloomy gray weather. At 8:30 something- we three went on board the number 2 bus with a bunch of strangers and headed over on our LONG journey to Niagara. We got to the falls at 6 pm- but during that process, there were talks, naps, and watching movie. Time passed by fast.

Then we headed to Maid of Mist- I was kind of bummed out that we were on the American falls side and we only could see the American falls...but the Maid of Mist boat also went to the Canadian falls (the real big spectacular one) and our boat got SOOO close that i was getting a bit scared. and our boat driver actually turned us RADICALLY and i was on the side where i almost felt like i was gonna fall into the middle of the falls...where they met...it was slightly scary moment...but there were a lot of ppl on the boat and it was fun.

After that we went to Chinese buffet- i haven't had Chinese buffet in SOOOooo Long. ahahhaa. it was the same- so much food, so much MSG, so fun :) after that we headed to the Cave of the Winds. By this time it was already almost 9 pm but we went and it was SOOOO freakin amazing...we went from the bottom of the falls and climbed to the point where we were actually right underneath a fall.....we 3 stood there for 30 minutes- my glasses and everything was getting soaking wet even with the poncho on. it was so worth it....it felt refreshing and cleansing. After that we went to the top of the Canadian falls and took photos and watched the beautiful light affects. We made a new Korean friend. He was so cute- as a brother type! but he brought only a paper bag of his stuff and spoke very little English- but was very joyful and friendly. we also got to know 3 people from China that were studying in New York. One of them was quite difficult because he kept on bringing the whole China/Taiwan thing. There was a point where i started to get ticked and irritated and tears of anger kind of dropped...which hasn't happen in a while...but everything turned out ok and we are friends.

Then we went back to sleep- i fell asleep watching parental control on MTV. i haven't watched cable TV in so long....so i was like "i'm going to watch!" and then fell asleep on the bed with the remote control on my hands..hahhaa. the hotel was nicer then i expected! we had a hair dryer (hallelujah) so i got to take a full shower.

the next day we went to Corning Glass Museum in the middle of nowhere. It was amazing because in the middle of nowhere- there was this awesome glass museum that sorta looked like MoMA. :) and then afterwards we went to another Chinese buffet- this time we talked to another guy who was traveling by himself and our beloved tour guide. omg. our tour guide was so awesome. she had to say everything in 3 languages (english, mandarin, Cantonese) and she was such a funny person- she would tell ppl to call her "mei mei" or "honey" and she would randomly stop and laugh ....reminded me of an anime character. it was fun getting to know her

then we got back to new york at 6:30 pm.

i'm heading to DC in 2 weeks for another awesome awesome conference...can't wait.

Dream on dear friends!

I just had lunch with my teammate/sister in Christ Lina. I'm glad that she is here in the city and the others who are dear to me....but most of all- thank God for such passionate people who seem to have the same desire of serving God in the ends of the Earth. We are all dreaming the same dream as kingdom dreamers.

Its so hard to have had such an intense experience in the far ends of the Earth- where we are far away from our familiarity and dropped in the midst of strange yet so awesomely interesting people and culture- and not be affected by it. The closest thing to Heaven on Earth- what is it? Glimpses of it were experienced- like how a team of youth that loved God had disputes came all together in Christ in the end and learned to forgive, accept, tolerate, love and cherish one another- like how a minority who has been suffering her whole life of not knowing the truth suddenly is taught about truth and what is out there and the freedom....

We live in a world where money, power, relationships, materialism rules.....and as I was talking today with my dear friend- i was reminded how we can be affected by those things. People are making money and power driven. People are seeking boyfriends or girlfriends or their attention to make their emptiness in their lives content. People are wanting to enjoy newest and trendiest things while forgotten the basic and simplest things in life- like sharing and building on friendships, like spending time with family and serving them, like being able to look at the homeless woman and give a smile to a stranger. Where have we gone? Have we even forgotten the most basic things in life....

Maybe its not all about making money and gaining power....are you going to be happy when you are done? I have to tell myself that. God catches each one of my tears and I know those tears that I have shed because of the feelings I have towards loved one or ones in Asia is not going to waste.....those tears will be counted up and provided within the provision answer entitled as my calling...

Hosanna.

see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

Yeeeah

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest x2

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I walk from earth into Eternity

[Chorus] x2

Hosanna in the highest




There are things bigger then you and me.

Mouring over the lost of a friend.

I am beyond disappointed at a friend. I shall not name this friend because I don't think there is any need to say anything to this person anymore. Usually i would like to tell others about it- but I have come to learn that this is my business and I shall be a good woman of God- tame my tongue in gossip and restrain myself for saying anything that is remotely gossipy or stupid. I just pray that God will take me through this time. I think I have officially come to a point- where I am mourning the loss of a friend. This person- I haven't known this person for that long. But, I still remember when me and this friend use to be slightly close. there are even moments when i recall that this person and i had deep conversations and this person would be such a light and encouragement in areas of my life. i always thought that this person related to me in a very fun way. everything changed after my long journey back from taiwan. anyways-some people cannot handle honesty. some people just don't understand the person for who you are. this friend of mine did not. i don't think this person will ever understand and want to know me in a deeper level of how i want to know this person. its really beyond sadness. now all the memories i have had in stored and all the excitement i have had to lavish person is dried into barely nothing. all i got for this person is just a smile and a nod.....no, its not because i'm tired, its because it really is what i have left......

some friendships in new york frustrate me. maybe i haven't invested enough....maybe i haven't given enough.....but i don't enjoy superficial. i don't enjoy always just eating partying and be merry- that is NOT enough for me. Whatever happened to true fellowship where people lifted each other, encouraged each other, prayed for each other, had awesome awesome conversations till wee hours.....i would trade that any second with small talk and wasting money...

La Vie En Rose

I went with Dawn to the Paris Theater to watch a French movie called "La Vie En Rose"- it was all French and biopic about Edith Pilaf...the amazing singer. The movie was very "french" as Dawn would call it. It was true- it jumped here and there and while both me and Dawn were getting confused.....the plot was coming out eventually at the end. It was a very sad story....I thought.. the director definitely made it into a sad shade into it. But overall- it was a good movie. I can't believe the actress who played Edith Pilaf was the same as the leading actress in A Good Year...!!!!! crazy...she definitely will get an award sometime along her career.

So I have finally came back to the swing of things in New York. While I've had busy schedule of working and spending time with out of town friends- I have also started to like New York again. So much has happened this summer and its funny in comparison to what I have done- I really haven't done much other then go home and come back to new york....but God has taught and guided me in many ways. Last year an entire year of confusion and transition and emotions....i feel like finally- God has given me eyes to see what he has meant to be...what he has planned....and i must say, its better then anything in the world.

Praise God for miracles....
1) my internship in World Vision for next year. That in itself is a miracle. I came back from Taiwan confused of my whole social work career- people like Steph and Val helped me a lot through my external processing. And of course- at the end, my dad listened and gave me very wise advice. I was almost going to quit school and reapply again- my dad thought that was very foolish to do while i can take classes and make my last year into what I would have wanted it to be. So, I decided to go back to International Social Policy- i had to reject my 1st choice internship and refind a new one. My field advisor Moira has been MORe then supportive and helpful. I told her my goals and visions and she listened and processed and respected my decision. Then after 2 weeks- she calls me and told me how she asked UNICEF, UN and everyone has already reached their intern capacity. And then she asked me..."well, there is a spot. have you ever heard of World Vision?" and my heart skipped a beat....and i thought to myself "are you kidding...of course..." and it turns out they have a spot opened. So i went in and I was interviewed by their executive director who seems like a wise old gentleman who has been in the corporate business world for a long time- he told me that they need an intern to work on their biggest donor's project- working with implementing psychotherapy afterschool programs with girls in Palestine....while i looked at him while he presented this case...i could NOT believe it......did he even know that I lived in the Middle East? Did he even know I love Arabs and Muslims? Did he know that i did psychotherapy last year with Chinese immigrants?...... i was in awe. So i'm officially on board with World Vision- starting from September. My dad and mom are SUPER excited for me :) thank you GOd.

2) I got involved with a Muslim Background Believer here in NYC- I heard her testimony and was EXTREMELY blessed and of course cried...but she wanted someone to help her out with PR work of her t-shirt fundraising for her Muslim ministries. I have been thinking of wanting to explore more about PR...it couldn't be better. I must say- so far its a bit frustrating...with the churches...but we shall see. But how did she know I was in a bit of a financial crisis? she offered to pay me......seriously, God- you are too good...

3) i had a good dream last night....about my dear friend back in the northwest. i'm going to hold onto that dream and believe that the good day is going to be happening soon.

Hosanna in the Highest.