I am beyond disappointed at a friend. I shall not name this friend because I don't think there is any need to say anything to this person anymore. Usually i would like to tell others about it- but I have come to learn that this is my business and I shall be a good woman of God- tame my tongue in gossip and restrain myself for saying anything that is remotely gossipy or stupid. I just pray that God will take me through this time. I think I have officially come to a point- where I am mourning the loss of a friend. This person- I haven't known this person for that long. But, I still remember when me and this friend use to be slightly close. there are even moments when i recall that this person and i had deep conversations and this person would be such a light and encouragement in areas of my life. i always thought that this person related to me in a very fun way. everything changed after my long journey back from taiwan. anyways-some people cannot handle honesty. some people just don't understand the person for who you are. this friend of mine did not. i don't think this person will ever understand and want to know me in a deeper level of how i want to know this person. its really beyond sadness. now all the memories i have had in stored and all the excitement i have had to lavish person is dried into barely nothing. all i got for this person is just a smile and a nod.....no, its not because i'm tired, its because it really is what i have left......
some friendships in new york frustrate me. maybe i haven't invested enough....maybe i haven't given enough.....but i don't enjoy superficial. i don't enjoy always just eating partying and be merry- that is NOT enough for me. Whatever happened to true fellowship where people lifted each other, encouraged each other, prayed for each other, had awesome awesome conversations till wee hours.....i would trade that any second with small talk and wasting money...
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