Singlehood

Friends, it is so awesome to be single. I never thought about how great it is. I always wanted to be the one who had someone madly in love with me while I was madly in love with the person too....i think my singlehood has been greatly challenged due to a lot of my friends have started to date or gotten serious or even married. First thing that comes to my mind is- heck, why her? why not me? I have everything in me that is so great too! But God has been teaching me and giving me a lot of peace about being single for this season. I have been growing more and more intimate in knowing about God. That is what I've always wanted.

I'm not ready to settle. The uncomforting and lonely feeling has been surpassed by God's warmth and comfort. He daily reminds me of His promises and His passion for what I can do as a single woman in New York at this time. I will never want to settle because of a guy, money or power. Good house, good stable job, stable income, nice family life- sounds all so appealing and great. People all want that and they've been driven by their parents, society to do so. Somehow that stability disturbs me. I don't want to be one of those people who settles and gets married and stays somewhere forever till her children are grown and then start her life. Nothing wrong with that- but i don't know....maybe i'm thinking too ahead of myself. I want my kids to grow up as missionaries or have mission mindsets. I want them to be culturally compotent. I want them to LIVE life through stories and stories and stories of their interactions with people all over. Heavenly father has blessed me with that opportunity.

No wonder I haven't really found anyone great in New York- many people here and Christians are just looking for the whole "settling" mindset. I am not. I am radical. yes indeed. I am running towards God's calling and the man of God either run with me or be opened in running....hahaha. so much for metaphors.

i'm not ready to settle yet.