Its not always rosy and sparkly...sometimes life is tough. deal with it!

I can't help but feeling weird lately. It could be due to the prolonged PMSing....or it could just be the fact that i'm leaving the beautiful island of Taiwan in 2 weeks and back to realistic fast pace new york or it could be that i'm having my future blues again....I actually don't understand why it happens to me so much (of course, i mean the last option)

Do you ever have conversations with people and you expect them to care a lot and talk more and just hang on with you during these bad and awkward moments- but they don't? They just keep on doing whatever they were doing before and just breeze through you with a general comment such as "don't worry...everything is going to be alright." or "God is in control"

I know that everything is going to be alright and that God uses those moments to reach/refine us- but can we really sometimes just sit there and listen to someone and sort out what they are saying and helping them step by step instead of saying things so general. I think I have become "less" general and more specific in things. Well, maybe i pick and choose. Not all topics are needed to be specific and not all topics are needed to be general. But when someone seems to be down, if i have the time, i would totally take the person out and just sit with them, sort through the ideas one by one. most of all- LISTEN. listen with the heart instead of the brian. be empathic and loving and TAKE the time (again- if you have THE time). While i write this, I have to be more like this too- to those around me. I have been feeling funky this week- and sometimes when you are the only one feeling weird and funky, not everyone can understand your level. and yes- sometimes you just have to run to God and ask that He be your listener. He is a pretty good listener.

I recently started to read a book a friend gave me called "Praying God's Words" by Beth Moore- the book goes through spiritual strongholds and each stronghold there are 5-8 pages of verses and prayers written out for ppl to say it out loud and break free from strongholds. I find it useful. Lately I have been king of overwhelmed by how much stuff i have in me- that needs to be prayed out.

I have so many dreams....I don't know if social work is a career i want to go on- but for now i want to do something powerful and useful. I'm not saying that social work is not- but i see some areas where there is a bigger need in ppl. International development has always been in my mind- but recently more has been developmental economics or even developmental sociology, race and ethnicity and such. Thats not it- realistically, i always thought about going into marketing- specifically advertising because i like being creative.....oh God, what should i do.....