July 24, 2007
Rebellion in the Desert
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you know that we can prolong suffering by our response to it? I once talked with a woman who lived with chronic depression and suicidal tendencies for a long time. She said, "I realize now that all those years stemmed from my own rebellion against the Lord when I was walking through the desert of life."
It reminds me of Psalm 68:6 where it says, God "leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land."
If you're discouraged or depressed, it may not be because you've done something wrong. God could be preparing to lead you to prosperity. But the way you handle the crisis could cause many more years of wandering.
So don't stay in a parched land any longer than you have to. If you are in a desert right now, let God lead you through it, and trust Him to lead you out in His way and His time.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Another update!
Julia Warren is getting married!!! I cannot believe that she will be getting married this weekend....I can still remember the days when we were all in Mims- oh how young we all were....and this weekend I get to see her walk down the aisle. So surreal.
So a couple of things have been happening in my life
1) learning greatly about conflict resolution
2) God's blessing and provision with future and ministries
3) Finally letting go and being secure in God :)
I'm sitting at the computer lab and working- at least getting some kind of income into my new york expenses. people have seriously non-stop being coming to visit! currently i have dawn with me- and when i come back from atlanta it will be dawn, ethel, ethel's mom, and ethel's boyfriend Mark! hahahah :) full house! but i'm glad though- they are keeping me energetic- 'cause i am an extrovert! hahaha
I got an internship offer with Disabilities Network of New York City. but I turned I turned it down (what?! why??!?!...that would be the respones) for an opportunity to work for a woman who does t-shirt ministries and ministries with Muslims in New York. I can't wait to see what is there for me!
------
on the side note....i think i am a born romantic.
So a couple of things have been happening in my life
1) learning greatly about conflict resolution
2) God's blessing and provision with future and ministries
3) Finally letting go and being secure in God :)
I'm sitting at the computer lab and working- at least getting some kind of income into my new york expenses. people have seriously non-stop being coming to visit! currently i have dawn with me- and when i come back from atlanta it will be dawn, ethel, ethel's mom, and ethel's boyfriend Mark! hahahah :) full house! but i'm glad though- they are keeping me energetic- 'cause i am an extrovert! hahaha
I got an internship offer with Disabilities Network of New York City. but I turned I turned it down (what?! why??!?!...that would be the respones) for an opportunity to work for a woman who does t-shirt ministries and ministries with Muslims in New York. I can't wait to see what is there for me!
------
on the side note....i think i am a born romantic.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I'm not a plastic bag!
I didn't really sleep last night.....i lied on the curved concrete road in Columbus Circle with some friends for 5 hours...waiting for the chance to buy 3 tote bags that say "I'm not a Plastic Bag"- designed by award winning designer (her name escapes me). it is also very environmental as it is promoting the anti-usage of plastic. if that wasn't enough....1 bag usually costs about 200 dollars on ebay while i got 3 bags, each for 15 dollars! yeap. thats right.....so, i had an adventure with my friends.
i have 3 bags- one for me, one for a friend and the other one either for my mom or for my roommate from China.... :)
we shall see!!
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/845499779/
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/845482451/
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/845460169/
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/846298534/
i have 3 bags- one for me, one for a friend and the other one either for my mom or for my roommate from China.... :)
we shall see!!
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/845499779/
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/845482451/
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/845460169/
http://flickr.com/photos/gregwong/846298534/
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Pride or Brokenness? I choose brokenness.
By Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Proud people focus on the failures of others.
Broken people are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need.
Proud people have a critical, fault-finding spirit; they look at everyone else’s faults with a microscope but their own with a telescope.
Broken people are compassionate; they can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven.
Proud people are self-righteous; they look down on others.
Broken people esteem all others better than themselves.
Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit.
Broken people have a dependent spirit; they recognize their need for others.
Proud people have to prove that they are right.
Broken people are willing to yield the right to be right.
Proud people claim rights; they have a demanding spirit.
Broken people yield their rights; they have a meek spirit.
Proud people are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation.
Broken people are self-denying.
Proud people desire to be served.
Broken people are motivated to serve others.
Proud people desire to be a success.
Broken people are motivated to be faithful and to make others a success.
Proud people desire self-advancement.
Broken people desire to promote others.
Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated.
Broken people have a sense of their own unworthiness; they are thrilled that God would use them at all.
Proud people are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked.
Broken people are eager for others to get the credit; they rejoice when others are lifted up.
Proud people have a subconscious feeling, “This ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts”; they think of what they can do for God.
Broken people’s heart attitude is, “I don’t deserve to have a part in any ministry”; they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives.
Proud people feel confident in how much they know.
Broken people are humbled by how very much they have to learn.
Proud people are self-conscious.
Broken people are not concerned with self at all.
Proud people keep others at arms’ length.
Broken people are willing to risk getting close to others and to take risks of loving intimately.
Proud people are quick to blame others.
Broken people accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in a situation.
Proud people are unapproachable or defensive when criticized.
Broken people receive criticism with a humble, open spirit.
Proud people are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; they work to protect their own image and reputation.
Broken people are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; they are willing to die to their own reputation.
Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others.
Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs.
Proud people want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up.
Broken people, once broken, don’t care who knows or who finds out; they are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose.
Proud people have a hard time saying, “I was wrong; will you please forgive me?”
Broken people are quick to admit failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary.
Proud people tend to deal in generalities when confessing sin.
Broken people are able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin.
Proud people are concerned about the consequences of their sin.
Broken people are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin.
Proud people are remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got found out or caught.
Broken people are truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, evidenced in the fact that they forsake that sin.
Proud people wait for the other to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in a relationship.
Broken people take the initiative to be reconciled when there is misunderstanding or conflict in relationships; they race to the cross; they see if they can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been.
Proud people compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honor.
Broken people compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.
Proud people are blind to their true heart condition.
Broken people walk in the light.
Proud people don’t think they have anything to repent of.
Broken people realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance.
Proud people don’t think they need revival, but they are sure that everyone else does.
Broken people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit.
Proud people focus on the failures of others.
Broken people are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need.
Proud people have a critical, fault-finding spirit; they look at everyone else’s faults with a microscope but their own with a telescope.
Broken people are compassionate; they can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven.
Proud people are self-righteous; they look down on others.
Broken people esteem all others better than themselves.
Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit.
Broken people have a dependent spirit; they recognize their need for others.
Proud people have to prove that they are right.
Broken people are willing to yield the right to be right.
Proud people claim rights; they have a demanding spirit.
Broken people yield their rights; they have a meek spirit.
Proud people are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation.
Broken people are self-denying.
Proud people desire to be served.
Broken people are motivated to serve others.
Proud people desire to be a success.
Broken people are motivated to be faithful and to make others a success.
Proud people desire self-advancement.
Broken people desire to promote others.
Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated.
Broken people have a sense of their own unworthiness; they are thrilled that God would use them at all.
Proud people are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked.
Broken people are eager for others to get the credit; they rejoice when others are lifted up.
Proud people have a subconscious feeling, “This ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts”; they think of what they can do for God.
Broken people’s heart attitude is, “I don’t deserve to have a part in any ministry”; they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives.
Proud people feel confident in how much they know.
Broken people are humbled by how very much they have to learn.
Proud people are self-conscious.
Broken people are not concerned with self at all.
Proud people keep others at arms’ length.
Broken people are willing to risk getting close to others and to take risks of loving intimately.
Proud people are quick to blame others.
Broken people accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in a situation.
Proud people are unapproachable or defensive when criticized.
Broken people receive criticism with a humble, open spirit.
Proud people are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; they work to protect their own image and reputation.
Broken people are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; they are willing to die to their own reputation.
Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others.
Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs.
Proud people want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up.
Broken people, once broken, don’t care who knows or who finds out; they are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose.
Proud people have a hard time saying, “I was wrong; will you please forgive me?”
Broken people are quick to admit failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary.
Proud people tend to deal in generalities when confessing sin.
Broken people are able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin.
Proud people are concerned about the consequences of their sin.
Broken people are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin.
Proud people are remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got found out or caught.
Broken people are truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, evidenced in the fact that they forsake that sin.
Proud people wait for the other to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in a relationship.
Broken people take the initiative to be reconciled when there is misunderstanding or conflict in relationships; they race to the cross; they see if they can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been.
Proud people compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honor.
Broken people compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.
Proud people are blind to their true heart condition.
Broken people walk in the light.
Proud people don’t think they have anything to repent of.
Broken people realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance.
Proud people don’t think they need revival, but they are sure that everyone else does.
Broken people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Mondays, everyday
I just spent the last 2 days in New Haven, CT. It was like what people said- gorgeous campus, but kind of simple and a lot boring compared to new york city....but somehow i found much solitude with my friend sudi. Sudi is a 3rd year medical student at Yale. I still remember the days when we were in college....this weekend it reminded me of those days. Let's see- what did we do? Well, we walked a lot- i mean, A LOT! but i didn't mind because the campus was SOO beautiful. The buildings were all historical and gothic looking. I was slightly jealous by the fact that their residential colleges looked like Harry Potter's school....wouldn't it have been awesome if i had that residential college experience? A lot of my friends i ended up with were mostly from my freshman dorm. It would have been awesome to share the same space and dining area....:) Anyways- I also got to see Stoops, another Vandy friend. I haven't seen him since senior year in college....2.5 years ago...wow. I think we all haven't changed much, but just now with a shade of maturity and respect. Our childish wild days are over...and now we are more like adults. its true! its true...
I got a lot of sleep over the weekend. I also ate really really well! i ate at the local hangout spot, BAR- i had a mash potato/ spinach pizza....mmmmm....and the BAR house salad which was blue cheese, pecan, greens, pears with house vinegerette dressing. it was so delish. I also ate some awesome chicken biriyani at this restaurant called Zordosa- Sudi knew the owner and he gave us 10% off! :)
Other then that- let me see, it was nice to be away from new york for a little bit. i know i know..i just got back from taiwan too!! but i'm excited about what is ahead for the summer. last week i went through some pretty big things...like finding out i can't get a job off campus which pays because of my visa status....pretty dumb...but what can i do....i'm F1...(sigh) but now things are looking a whole lot better. I think its all because of the comfort of God. I have a part time job on campus which does pay money, but i also will be interviewing this weekend for non-paid internships.. and some possible investment on ministry opportunities. But the weeks coming ahead are reallyh exciting because next week i'll be in Atlanta for Julia's wedding- finally doing bridesmaid duties....i can't wait! most of all- be back in the South...:) also seeing old friends and JULIA! Dawn is coming to stay with me for a few weeks in new york! i'm excited about that! Sudi is coming into town next week- and we are going to suit shop. Lets see.....Ethel is coming into town!! :) i'm excited and she is staying here! thats beyond exciting because a fellow China dreamer is coming to new york. Then the Cynthia, Vicky, Helen from FNL are all visiting new york in August!! :)
God is good- God, i pray for PROVISION and trust you are GOOD!
GOd- i also lift up those in the desertlands....the joy of the redeemed
I got a lot of sleep over the weekend. I also ate really really well! i ate at the local hangout spot, BAR- i had a mash potato/ spinach pizza....mmmmm....and the BAR house salad which was blue cheese, pecan, greens, pears with house vinegerette dressing. it was so delish. I also ate some awesome chicken biriyani at this restaurant called Zordosa- Sudi knew the owner and he gave us 10% off! :)
Other then that- let me see, it was nice to be away from new york for a little bit. i know i know..i just got back from taiwan too!! but i'm excited about what is ahead for the summer. last week i went through some pretty big things...like finding out i can't get a job off campus which pays because of my visa status....pretty dumb...but what can i do....i'm F1...(sigh) but now things are looking a whole lot better. I think its all because of the comfort of God. I have a part time job on campus which does pay money, but i also will be interviewing this weekend for non-paid internships.. and some possible investment on ministry opportunities. But the weeks coming ahead are reallyh exciting because next week i'll be in Atlanta for Julia's wedding- finally doing bridesmaid duties....i can't wait! most of all- be back in the South...:) also seeing old friends and JULIA! Dawn is coming to stay with me for a few weeks in new york! i'm excited about that! Sudi is coming into town next week- and we are going to suit shop. Lets see.....Ethel is coming into town!! :) i'm excited and she is staying here! thats beyond exciting because a fellow China dreamer is coming to new york. Then the Cynthia, Vicky, Helen from FNL are all visiting new york in August!! :)
God is good- God, i pray for PROVISION and trust you are GOOD!
GOd- i also lift up those in the desertlands....the joy of the redeemed
Monday, July 9, 2007
Withdrawal
My stage really sucks. I just realized that i'm not very happy and then i don't know... every time conversations with friends - something happens. So, i was gone for 2 months. A lot happened with me- I develop new meaningful friendships, spent time with family and most of all- started to think about my future (since i got time). But i realized that I wasn't the only one doing that. Everyone- I MEAN...literally EVERYONE i know in new york city has moved on exponentially in their own ways. I come back and people are happy to see me- but they are so involved with their current fast paced life that my return and my stories does not really mean much to them- or they don't have time. They have found substitutes and other new friends and deeper relationships and being back.... its a feeling of alone. i just realized that I might have too high expectations. Unlike last time where I had a team with me that was all going through withdrawal....i'm alone this time. Of course- I know that God is with me and all that- but my lack of community in New York does not help. Ironically its the new friendships that are so less hurtful- I got to spend time with Albert- who i have only met twice and we had a lot of fun today- eating, walking, reading, talking...it was so nice. I guess a lot has to do the fact that he actually was in Taiwan a month ago and we hung out there- i felt new and fresh. On the other hand, its the relationships that i have had in the past year or two that is most hurtful to me. I hoped they would be more understanding and wanting to spend time with me....but everyone is busy. I will be busy soon too- when i start to work. People ALways say i have a lot of friends....but to be honest...i'm starting to doubt the meaningful relationships- i don't really have much of those. There is a fear that I might end up alone.....and left behind....just like that song i wrote.
Friday, July 6, 2007
The Gift of Tears
When I took the test on spiritual gifts- my top three were ranked: mercy, pastor/shepherd, and evangelism. I remember the first time when i took that test i was kind of like- "?!??!" I am a 100% feeler- and with that comes the gift of tears. When i start crying....i cannot stop crying. I never saw it as a gift until one of my staff in China told me that it is as he has tried and tried to cry...but he can't.
Yesterday I broke down crying because 3 reasons. I needed to cry it out....it was awaiting- kind of like a waterfall awaiting to explode from the opening...
1) I missed my loved ones in Taiwan.
2) I hated being in New York
3) My future
Thanks for my thinker friend- she stood by my side till 5 am (btw- i am still jet lagged!) and listened, analyzed, and helped me see things in perspectives. There were no answers that came out of the convo- but I definitely feel stronger in approaching things. God is really good and he used last night to tell me some of the struggles that i still struggle with.....
i had only 2 hours of sleep....man....when is this jet lag going to recover!
Yesterday I broke down crying because 3 reasons. I needed to cry it out....it was awaiting- kind of like a waterfall awaiting to explode from the opening...
1) I missed my loved ones in Taiwan.
2) I hated being in New York
3) My future
Thanks for my thinker friend- she stood by my side till 5 am (btw- i am still jet lagged!) and listened, analyzed, and helped me see things in perspectives. There were no answers that came out of the convo- but I definitely feel stronger in approaching things. God is really good and he used last night to tell me some of the struggles that i still struggle with.....
i had only 2 hours of sleep....man....when is this jet lag going to recover!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
new york- a new beginning. summer part 2!
i'm back in new york city. how surreal. i'm in my apartment typing this while outside is a beautiful nyc day. the weather is slightly chilly but beautifully sunny! got a few phone calls today....good to talk to my friends in new york. trying to get this camera thing settled....but its not going anywhere...AHHHH! So, the plane ride to New York was pretty smooth. I slept the whole time. There was this weird moment when i woke up and my neighbor was looking at me....weird...so i turned my back towards him and kept on sleeping. hahaha....then Stan came to pick me up-i appreciate him so much. the guy gave up a Yankees game and was sick and had work the next day- but he came to pick me up. I'm going to have to cook him an AMAZINg dinner to thank him.
i miss taiwan and my loved ones....
but there are much to figure out being back in new york.
1) my future
2) church- get settled with church, serving and small group.
3) start really being plugged in with InterVarsity staff.
4) meet more ppl!
i miss taiwan and my loved ones....
but there are much to figure out being back in new york.
1) my future
2) church- get settled with church, serving and small group.
3) start really being plugged in with InterVarsity staff.
4) meet more ppl!
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